Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.
Alexa showed me that this weekend. She has a knack for finding beautiful words and sharing them with me. She altruistically let me tag along with her to the lake this weekend. We sun screened up, laid out, and learned new slang (FMF for those wondering, Fat Man Friendly, HA!). Lex talked of a good friend of hers who has shown her what it means to be fully present. To allow the fullness of situations to seep in and to just be there.
But this is far from YOLO. This is far from cliches found on Pinterest about moments being rain or whatnot. I have noticed lately that I am hardly ever satisfied in a moment. There is always something better, stronger, deeper that could be taking place. I don't see this trait as inherently bad, although nor is it inherently good.
I've written much about the concept of numbering grace and paying tribute to the Lord by just paying attention. I guess this is a caveat into that in a way. Not only is my paying attention causing me to pay homage to the Lord, but it causes me to bask. To soak in monotony and be satisfied. For I have sinned and grown old. I have grown agitated, discontent, and senile. I can be just like the old man from Up. Jaded by life and unable to let each moment not be tainted by the sour ones in the past.
But what of those moments? The sour ones happened and they have shaped me. But does that give me the right to create expectations for the future? The daisies get crushed, picked, torn up, and sucked dry of their nectar, yet the Creator never stops making them or loving the beauty of them. Regardless of the result of what happens with the prior ones He continues moving forward and finding complete joy in them. So we mourn for the sour, but we must always remember to ask to see the best good.
Maybe monotonous moments are the ones where I get to see Him. Maybe that's where the mercy seeps in. "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness" Lamentations 3:22-23. Mercy is where I gain my vitality. It is where my "spirit fierce and free" comes from. The ability to ask to do it again because I keep seeing His goodness. I keep finding new places to look and graces to number, and when I don't, He shifts me back. He draws me back in because He wants me to be young too.
And by asking Him to just keep doing His thing again and again leaves me just there. Like the days when my Daddy would swing with me on the front porch and I would ask him to tell me the three bears again, or asking Momma to sing Feed the Birds one more time. Sitting contentedly in those moments knowing that all I could do was ask for the one who could do it the "right" way to do it again. I can't tell myself the story with the deep Papa Bear voice, and I don't have my mother's smooth voice to sing myself Feed the Birds, those are things best left to them. So I ask for it again because it's all I can do.
In a season such as this where there have not been very big high's or exceptional lows, I am offered the ability to see the sameness differently. Rather than traipsing through the field, I want to be a lowly admirer and memorize each and every one, because it was created for enjoyment and I was created to enjoy.
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