Thursday, August 7, 2014

Ease in Risk

"Would you like adventure now or should we have tea first?"
-Peter Pan

My life is like the Alice in Wonderland Unbirthday Party. Rabbits have pocket watches and I quit my job. To save you all from the catalog of events, basically I sensed God asking me to take a risk and I said yes.

There has to be a lot for me in what's to come because I love where I have been. But in stepping into this, He has been so sure. Kindly providing bread crumbs along the way to remind me that I may not know where I'm going, but there is a trail and He is positive of the direction. 

Facing this decision has been difficult. My routine is going to change. My status is going to change. My stability is going to change. There is risk to this and adjustments that must be made. Friends to be missed. Tears are close at hand lately as I consider that ominous moment Tuesday when I say goodbye. I'm terrible with goodbyes even when I don't like the situation I'm in, so leaving something I love for reasons that are still pretty ambiguous is overwhelming. 

But here God is enough. Here there is rest in the ebb. Here there is surety in enigmas. Here there is confidence in the tepid. 

These are the moments I hope I wear well, with grace and courage. Learning to believe in Provision. Satisfied in Divinity. Any given moment, there may be trepidation in my thoughts. But generally, I'm much more like Peter Pan. Content where I am, to soak in this moment as the delight it is, but preparing to head to the adventure when the time comes. 

One of the simply lovely people I have come to know this year caught me as I was leaving Quay the other day to share the below fragment from John O'Donohue's poem From the Beginning with me. It seems to be the appropriate summation

Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you

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