Four years of blogging. I remember writing my first post in my college dorm room, not really knowing how far this would go. I am really bad about finishing what I start, and something open ended like a blog is just an excuse waiting to happen. But here I am, four years later. I've been perusing old entries this morning and find myself smiling, remembering the various locations some were written, and more importantly I vividly recall how I felt as I penned every one.
I may not be a brilliant writer, and I'm certainly not a great blogger, but I am so glad I do it. It is a joy for me to have a yearbook of sorts to catalog my process. To remember. To see how far and from where I've come. I started this blog in the crux of a confusing relationship that turned into a difficult breakup. I walked through a season of depression here. Many of my favorite quotes and books are littered throughout. I have written on here from North Carolina, Florida, Hawaii, Dallas, Bolivar and Kansas City. If you dig deeply enough there are some really attractive pictures in here too. But really what I see is Jesus coming into my reality, inconsistently and clumsily in my words but so faithfully in His presence.
As I read my favorite blog this morning by Jami Nato, I was overwhelmed with gratitude for this obscure world of words. I have been able to share bits of life with this woman for six years, and although I have never actually interacted with her (and we both live in KC) I am grateful to have been a benefactor of her transparency. And I hope in some small way I have offered that to others. Even if I haven't though, I am still so glad I have done this for me.
Jesus has become truer and dearer to me in the past few years than I ever thought possible. He is my consistent comforter, he directs me in an about face from my sin and into joy and gently reminds me of His care for me in the process, He gives me good gifts and hard realities. He is my companion and I hope to see Him as ever gooder and kinder and more trustworthy as the years go on. And this is where I place those thoughts to tumble around.
I will leave you with the quote from my first post that inspired this whole mess. It still rings so true to my vision. I wish I had a glass of champagne (or better yet, a mimosa since it's 9 am) as I close to celebrate my insignificant-to-most-but-joyful-to-me anniversary. I'll pretend for now and just have two glasses later.
"Spirituality is not about competency, it's about intimacy...Messy spirituality has the audacity to suggest that messiness is the workshop or authentic spirituality, the greenhouse of faith, he place where the real Jesis meets the real us."