I have been on break for exactly 28 days. During those 28 days I have slept, thought, read, created, napped, traveled, and dozed. Much of that has been with my sister. I know I have alluded to this before, but it has been a HUGE thought for me the past few days. There is something BEAUTIFUL about being invited into someone's life. Not being entertained, or prioritized, but invited. Invited to rest, hang, laugh, talk, read, sleep, play, live, breath, and BE. It is literally divine. My sister and her husband have created that for me at home, and at school I have that with my K-Life family. I will scream this until I'm blue in the face, we are called to a life of rest. Not JUST sleep and hanging, but resting in what Christ is digging into in our lives, resting in His absolute goodness despite our circumstances, resting in laughter and enjoyment, resting through grace to not have it together or to do it right.
This week I got to enjoy the laughter and enjoyment one. My knees are black and blue due to my attempt to play ice hockey. Regardless of my physical state after this, it was a time to enjoy and laugh and accumulate an experience. I won my first game of Settlers, and then experienced the humbling of losing the very next game to the underdogs.
There is a huge part of my heart that stirs and rests simultaneously in the presence of people who I admire. I have found integrity and honor to be two of the rarest qualities to be seen in people, I know I definitely fail in those quite frequently. This week I was privileged to spend time with some people I have the utmost respect for. A married couple who are servants and love deeply without judgement. A group of guys who are more concerned about doing what is right then what is comfortable, and about being gentle men who share that same kind of love. Girls who find great joy in being who Christ created them to be rather than trying to emulate a standard. It is RESTFUL for me to be around people who are honorable. Being around these people stirs my affection for Christ, because I see Christ in them. I am honored to get to experience and enjoy these people in my life.
I find so much pleasure in those relationships, because they are things I have previously killed in my life.
That I may gain Christ, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.
I was struck this morning by the two types of Righteousness Paul points out here. The first being the kind of righteousness of knowing how good of a job I did when I follow the rules. Self-righteousness. It is a gratification to KNOW I did a good job and that no one can fault my action. The type of righteousness that comes with trying to do everything right, to be the perfect one, the one everyone looks at and says, "man, they are SUCH a good Christian, I want to be more like them." I am SO guilty of this. It's righteousness in disguise, a way of judging success without actually having to be accountable to Christ.
Then there's the second type. The type of righteousness that comes from not attempting for righteousness but attempting for Christ. It comes by faith, a coming to the end of ourselves, a desperation and need to need Christ. It comes when we allow Christ to surpass expectations, when we ditch our expectations and let Him work things out in a way that doesn't make sense, but works regardless. When it stops making sense is typically where the beauty begins. This is the righteousness I beg to overcome me. To know Christ as my need, to see the fragility of myself and the weariness that comes from trying. I beg for the familiarity of Christ's hand to come into my life so that I won't be so caught off guard when things don't seem to be "right."
May we know Christ to be who He says He is. May we ask Him to work and ask Him to shake our false perceptions of what faith and righteousness look like and recreate them into something that points straight to rest in Him. May we find rest in Him today. May we laugh today. May we be a people who enjoy and are enjoyed because of the God we know in us, and the definable characteristics He has purposed for us to develop. May we come to delight in things and not take it all so seriously. May the lightness of trusting in Christ bless us with the opportunity to experience Him as fully as we are intended to.