Tuesday, May 17, 2011


So I was thinking today. Well actually tonight. And actually I was talking to my roommate. So I just lied to you. Forgive me.

But when I was thinking/talking to my roommate today/tonight, the subject of being too harsh came up. While I am a very tenderhearted person when it comes to relationships, I can be brutally honest towards people, through sarcasm, and it's rude, and not very kind-hearted. It sucks actually. 

The phrase "ooooh, I shouldn't have said that" is recurring in my mind a lot. And you know what, I don't know how to not be blunt. It's a learned habit, and an ugly one at that. Can be advantageous sometimes, but most the time it's just hurtful.

I'm a lot better at finding the twig in others eyes than seeing the plank in mine. I only see it if I want to see it. I think I refuse to look because I want to feel strong. I know I got issues, trust me, I see them all the time, but I like to know the issues I have. I don't enjoy people pointing them out to me. I get embarrassed and feel small. Bleh.

So I avoid the planks to avoid the embarrassment. It's that whole, "I should've known that" mentality. How could I not have seen that, or if I have seen it, why didn't I not do that?

But that's the thing. I do do that stuff. All the time. 

Where is the line between being sensitive to overly-sensitive people and embracing the honest heart I was given? Where is sarcasm's place? Where do those rude things come from?

Buhhh. Lots to think about.

Keep asking questions. Keep making mistakes. Keep seeking God.  

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