Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Just call me Alice.

I have much to say about nothing today. Or maybe it's everything. I haven't quite decided which.

I feel like Alice after tripping down the rabbit's hole, I'm just kinda falling, and I've been falling so long I'm beginning to enjoy the scenery. Falling in the sense of learning, one lesson after another after another. Independence, dependence, freedom, community, rest, discipline, desire, and the list goes on. Each lends service to a much warranted, occasionally desired, change that increases my awareness of my need for a God. 

And maybe that's it, maybe all of life isn't necessarily about the lessons we learn, but Who we learn we need through the lessons. Not to make light of the change that is needed in this frail flesh, because Lord knows I need to be changed. Though perhaps our purpose is more than becoming Godly, but learning our need for Him and asking Him to come here, or at least teach us how to bring a little of "home" down here in the meantime. 

If that's the case then what's my limit? When I land in the rabbit hole and see the doors, am I going to choose to unlock the door and see what's ahead or am I going to sit and drown in my own tears? 

Recently I have been slapped around a bit by reality, the reality of growing up and making decisions. Ironically enough, the only decision I've made is to not make decisions. I for once in my life am experiencing the full freedom of telling God I'm waiting on Him. Who knows where I will be in two years when I graduate, all I know is that I am so tired of choosing safe. Not that there isn't merit to being safe. But I've always been safe, I think it's my turn to get a little dirty and get out of my comfort zone. 

I think i've tripped out of it before a couple of times, but then I realized where I was, dusted off my knees, and hopped right back in my bubble. I don't think I'm exactly out of it yet either, but I for once think I am not only willing, but waiting for opportunity. 

I want to experience Wonderland. That richness that comes from letting go of my reality and following my theology (thank you Beth Moore), and going and doing something hard. It may suck. It may be hard. And i'll probably cry....a lot. SO WHAT? Heaven forbid things aren't easy, breezy, beautiful, Cover Girl the rest of my life. Lord, may I never be so blinded by fear and the appeal of security that I choose complacency and safety over the divine rest that comes from walking with You. 

So there you have it. My horizon just broadened and I have come to the conclusion that my world may just end up being a little bit bigger than the Bible Belt. And I'm excited.

Let me leave you with another quote that has become a mantra lately. May this inspire you to look beyond the hear and now, and ask God what's next.

Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death
Set God-sized goals. Pursue God-ordained passions
Go after a dream that is destined to fail without divine intervention
Keep asking questions. Keep making mistakes. Keep seeking God
Stop pointing out problems and become part of the solution
Stop repeating the past and start creating the future
Stop playing it safe and start taking risks
Accumulate experiences. Consider the lilies. Criticize by creating
Find every excuse you can to celebrate everything you can
Live like today is the first day and last day of your life
Don't let what's wrong with you keep you from worshiping what's right with God
Burn sinful bridges. Blaze new trails
Worry less about what people think and more about what God thinks
Don't try to be who you're not. Be yourself. Laugh at yourself
Quit holding out
Quit holding back
Quit running away.
Chase the lion.

-Mark Batterson "Lion Chasers Manifesto

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