So here I am, back in my dorm room.
But break was good. Real good.
I didn't get hit with any philosophical lightning bolts, but I laughed, camped, saw some people, hung by myself, and drank serious amounts of coffee.
Ya know what? Now that I think about it, I did find out something. When God wants ya somewhere, there's no getting around it, even good places. I think my lull is Divine. Because life still happened this week, and parts of it could've put me right back to where I've been, stressing, crying, pulling out my hair and the like. But I'm not. I still feel like I did last week before facing some stuff, and that's gotta be Divine, because that's definitely how I normally react.
As to not disappoint (har har har), I guess I do have a few things that bopped me on the head at church this morning.
It doesn't stinkin matter how much we love God.
Don't break out the tar and feather just yet. What I mean is, at the end of the day, we can't define our Christianity by how much we love God, because it's still a miniscule amount compared to what we have the capability to do, and we're never going to be able to say that we loved Him enough.
We can however, define our Christianity by how much we are loved. By what we receive from the Giver.
I get to define myself by how much I'm loved.
Somedays I can honestly say I would bite the head off of someone who told me something so simple, so if you want to bite my head off, that's cool. Tomorrow I may bite my own head off, but today I like the reminder that God and I are cool. He's not gonna be pissed at me and need to clear His head before we can talk things over. And in a world of temperamental, sassy people *raises hand* it is nice sometimes to remember that He's not that way.
Oh. Another thought.
I'm scared to death of being uncomfortable. Funny for how blue in the face I've gone telling everyone else in the world that we're supposed to be. I'm just selfish and prissy when it comes to the idea of not having what makes me feel settled.
I hate hearing myself say it, but it's true, and not saying it doesn't make it any less true. Though I wish it did.
I'm asking the Lord what I should do with that
But I believe in Him, He hasn't done anything yet for me to not, so why not follow Him over this cliff too.
Nothing huge. But that's how break went.