Well yes, I am home, and as my friends here have been taunting, no, I'm STILL not done. But I did go to work training for my summer job today (hooray!).
And let me tell you, it's gonna rock. I'm getting to go to a few
cool, freaking awesome places (North Carolina, and Georgia) and there are some sah-weet people working there--schmyeah.
Something that has definitely changed as I've been growing up is my affinity for new experiences. Begrudgingly I would pout my way through them, literally pouting. Arms crossed. A bleary-eyed frown. The whole enchilada.
I still pout sometimes. A lot actually. But, slooooowly I'm beginning to enjoy meeting new people and trying new things. I see the value in it now, new people and situations have a ton to offer. Those are the things that change me, the process sometimes SUH-UCKS, but I always end up wanting something new eventually.
I've gotten to see some awesome people this weekend BTDubs. I appreciate my friends at home to no end. They are vastly different than my school friends. They think very differently and have nutso-ly unique passions like medicine and history and politics.
It's reminded me of the joy of learning. I've spent this past year looking critically on my surroundings. and that's not always a bad thing. Coming home though, I am seeing the worth in learning to learn again. Of finding conclusions on things and digging deep. Not for the sake of being a better Christian, and not for the sake of being different from people. But of finding God to surpass my expectations and show me Truth. To create in me a hunger to abide in Him. I've lost that.
I miss passion. Not only my own, but of those around me. And I don't think God-centered passion is just knowing the Bible well. I think it's being able to find God, or at least ask where He is, in the tangible everyday things of our lives, our culture, books, people. And I also think I've been saying that all semester. But i've spent so much time and energy pushing that idea rather than pursuing it.
I don't want to be that person (sick nasty).
I just enjoy being around people who cause me to think and challenge me as being wrong. Not because they're right, but because they see the flaws in my way of thinking. They want to know how I landed there, and push me to know why. It's wonderful to be on the other side of the pushing and be pushed. It's humbling and provoking.
I'm looking forward to being home. I'm looking forward to promptings from relationships.
As an excerpt of one of my favorite quotes says, "Stop pointing out problems, and become part of the solutions."
Ouch. Amen. Good night.